Friday, December 4, 2009

Jokes Your Parents Would Tell

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.


I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki. It's just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or a Frenchman a skunk…


I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a guy hiding behind a gravestone. I said, "Morning!" He replied, "No, just taking a pee."


Went to my first Muslim birthday party last week… The “Musical Chairs” was a bit slow, but my God, “Pass the Parcel” sure was quick!


When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.


I'm not racist; racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.


I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"


I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic guy shouted, "Hey, what's your disability?" I said, "Tourettes! Now you.. ?&*^%)#... get the *@^+$% off my back!"

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