Tuesday, July 12, 2011

WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN


HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.


HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.


HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?

SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.



HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.


HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.


HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.


HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.

SHE: Okay, get out.



HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?


HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?

SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.


HE: Can I have your name?

SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?


HE: Shall we go see a movie?

SHE: I've already seen it.


HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.


HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?

SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.


HE: Is this seat empty?

SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.


HE: So, what do you do for a living?

SHE: I'm a female impersonator.


HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.


HE: Your body is like a temple.

SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.


HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.


HE: Where have you been all my life?

SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

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